#28 - Throbbing Inspector

May 3, 2016
00:0000:00

The worm has turned! Graham surprises Zeke with a topic this time, and brings in a random Bulgarian off the street to help out - can Zeke guess what a bunch of Magic: The Gathering cards do solely based on their title? Can he do it in just 3:16? Probably. Tap a swamp and push the play button above!

A big thanks to special guest Hristo Nikolov for evading border control and helping out with today's topic/challenge. Hristo is a professional Magic and Warhammer player! Imagine that! You can (and should) follow him on Twitter and Facebook.

Are you a new 3:16 listener? You can follow the podcast on iTunes (give it a cheeky 5 stars while you're there) or try following Zeke and/or Graham on Twitter to find out when we've got new episodes up.

Over to you. Keep on leaving your topic suggestions in the comments or sending them to us direct, and riddle me this:

What do YOU think a 'Throbbing Inspector' is?


Jesus wept.
Zx

#27 - “Calling Sweden. You Are Being Connected to a Random Swede.”

April 29, 2016
00:0000:00


Oh hello! It's been a while since the last 3:16 since Graham's music career has been keeping him busy. We talk about his successes there as well as my efforts to undermine them, before getting onto today's VERY odd suggestion: we call a random Swedish person and have a chat for three-minutes-and-sixteen-seconds. Assemble your flatpack meatballs and hit the play button above!


The audio set-up wasn't the finest in this episode (sorry) but I have decided we MUST revisit this topic again, so thanks to KB for suggesting the idea in the first place. Once I figure out a better audio solution, we'll periodically throw Swedish 3:16s into the mix.


We did actually go on to speak to one more random Swede, and you can listen to that equally shoddy recording here! The conclusion seems to be that all the Swedish can think about are forests and mountains. Why not.


Want to try calling a random Swede yourself? Of course you do. Tell them we said hi.

And lastly...


Thanks to everyone for their patience. This is obviously a sideline hobby for us both (I don't think either of us are retiring from work any time soon off the back of 40 downloads per episode) but we're having a lot of fun and are committed to keeping them coming as regularly as possible...

... so thanks also for rolling in the topics while we were gone. They're all in the bank, and we're looking forward to hitting every single of one them (some more than others, you mad deviants.)

Next Up: Graham turns the tables by surprising me with a topic/challenge, along with a mystery guest from lands afar.


Skål!
Zx

#26 - Which Old Franchise Would YOU Reboot?

March 18, 2016
00:0000:00

In a pseudo follow on from the previous episode, the lads reboot Graham's favourite kid's cartoon show into a somewhat disturbing, alcohol-soaked, death-worshipping dystopian nightmare. The power is YOURS... to hit the play button above!


Here's the Captain Planet intro, which is every bit as awesome as I remember despite the show being thinly-veiled propaganda for the green party. I also just learned that Whoopi Goldberg voiced the character of Gaia, who I'm now even more convinced is an incarnation of Sauron after watching this:



Worth watching for the bizarrely anachronistic reference to the Soviet Union, and for the child's voice right at the end saying... well, never mind what the kid says. Just watch it to the end.


Thanks again to Mystery Man for suggesting today's topic. Now, over to you 316ers - what show would you like to reboot, and who would you cast in it? Let us know down in the comments!


Zx

#25 - The New Ghostbusters Trailer

March 14, 2016
00:0000:00


Graham unleashes an unbridled amount of ferocity aimed at Zeke to start the episode, then Zeke unleashes a medium level of antipathy towards the new Ghostbusters movie. Naturally, Graham hasn't seen the trailer. Hit the play button above if you ain't afraid of no pods!


Here's the trailer in question if you, like Graham, live in a bubble and have managed to miss the entire Internet screaming about it. It's currently at nearly half a million thumbs down, compared to less than 200k thumbs up:


A sassy, urban black character that yells "Awww HELL NO!" while the smart white scientists wear glasses and look clever? Thanks playing the 'progressive' game, Hollywood! You lose.

My main issue with this an overarching one. Once again, it's the movie industry sitting around in their board room trying to figure out 'what's popular on the internet' before pandering to that crowd in search of a quick buck. But because people are overwhelmingly stupid, they'll fall for it time and time again. Ghostbusters will be a box-office smash despite all signs pointing to it being lazily written and chock-full of tired out tropes.

I don't blame Hollywood for wanting to make money, but I can blame the public for shoving money into their pockets and never demanding better. Thanks to all the mouth-breathers for ensuring the only thing we'll see from now to 2025 are endless comic book derivatives and safe-playing reboots of stuff you'd see on a "You Know You Were Born in the 80s If You Remember These AWESOME Cartoons!" Buzzfeed list.

 Well done, morons. You ruined cinema.



Zx

P.s: Still on a slightly sporadic schedule with these as Graham busies himself with being angry at me and gearing up to his EP launch. Another on the way this week though as we talk more about reboots...


#25 - The “Street” Accent of London

March 5, 2016
00:0000:00

Oh hello and welcome back to The 3:16 for a third episode this week! On today's episode, we talk about rather silly accents - specifically, the South London "brap brap" accent, or whatever it's called. If you have no idea what that is, you might want to check out the Attack the Block movie clip below first before hitting the play button above... you get me, fam?



A big thanks to first-time topic suggestee Steve Richmond of the hugely supportive Dreamchaser Entertainment for this one. What do you want to hear us chat about next? The floor is all yours - hit the 'comments' link below, tool up and leave bear suggestions, bruv. Trust.

#24 - The Big Bang Theory / Geek Culture

March 3, 2016
00:0000:00


Today's episode of The 3:16 is a special one on two counts - it's Graham's birthday, and we have a returning guest joining us! Join the three of us as we miserably slog through a topic both Graham and I have zero love for, in stark contrast to Harriet... math, science, history, unraveling the mystery, it all started with the play button above!


I actually shared some pretty detailed thoughts on this topic over in the show notes for the Force Awakens episode, so be sure to check that out but in summary the Big Bang Theory is a dull show written by non-geeks, for non-geeks.


And here's that video Graham referenced of TBBT without the ridiculously over-the-top laugh track:



One thing I do need to retract: Kaley Cuoco is not an anti-vaxxer. I don't know where I came up with that. She refuses to call herself a feminist though because she loves serving her husband, and I'll let you decide whether that's a good or a bad thing. Personally I think it's awesome - Kaley Cuoco is welcome cook all my meals whenever she likes.

Erm... thanks to my 
real-life wife for this firecracker of a topic. Got one of your own to put to us? Hit the 'comments' link below and drop one like it's hot.

#23 - Two Brits Try to Guess American Football Terminology

February 29, 2016
00:0000:00


The guys have a lot to catch up on after a couple of weeks off! We took an absolute walloping in the comments following the Great Egg Debacle of 2016, and Graham has been courting press around the world with his uniquely Graham-esque creative decisions. We then get on to trying to today's killer topic: trying to guess what various American football terms might mean. Punt your pigskin over to the play button above!


Here's that interview I mentioned in which Graham credits me for every success he's ever achieved. And don't miss his new music video for Kolmanskop, which features an actor who can't play guitar standing in for Graham as well as a blatant advert for a production company? It's awesome: 


Thanks to Daven Yun for another superb topic suggestion! That's two touchdowns in a row. He's the guy to beat, listeners - got one of your own to test us with? Drop 'em in the comments below.

We'll have three podcasts this week to make up for lost time, so come back on Wednesday (Graham's birthday!) and Friday for more. I hear that following us on iTunes is the best way to get notifications of new episodes, but I don't know. If you are on iTunes, leave us a cheeky 5* review. I'm told it helps.

Zx

#22 - Facebook

February 13, 2016
00:0000:00

It's an open-ended topic this week as we discuss the merits - or lack thereof - of a website to which everyone posts Minion pictures, as suggested by someone who the guys know rather well. Click the play button above and Mark Zuckerberg will give you millions in Facebook shares!


I've got this theory that the most easy-to-use content platforms are also the ones in which the dankest memes are born. It's no coincidence that originality has declined massively as the Internet has become more accessible; back in the day, if you wanted to put something online, you had to learn how to build a website for it, thus weeding out people who make the Internet a worse place by proxy.

Nowadays however, any moron can upload a pointless reaction video on Youtube, a joke on Vine that has already been recycled 1,000 times over, or become famous just for having an Instagram account.

Although curiously, Instagram is the only one that doesn't fit into my theory. It's ultra-easy to use and the majority of the images posted are original, though why anyone would want to use Instagram is beyond me. A site that horribly compresses images and makes them fuzzy as all hell doesn't strike me as the optimal place to post images.

Here's a very un-scientific graphic proving my point. The one on the top right is Myspace, since nobody will recognise it:

socialmediadifficulty1.png

In short, let's turn of the Internet. It's wasted on humans.

Zx

P.s: Where the hell would Snapchat go in that chart? I'll let you decide that one, I know zilch about Snapchat and don't care to change that anytime soon.

#21 - If You Could Only Have One Dairy Product for the Rest of Your Life, Which Would it Be?

February 10, 2016
00:0000:00

Once again, the boys of The 3:16 face one of the biggest hypothetical conundrums currently plaguing our times... which dairy product would you choose if you could only have one for the rest of your life? Butter up that play button above and milk it for all it's worth!

Speaking of butter, here's a comprehensive infographic expanding on my luminous thoughts touched upon in this episode:


Think that about covers it.

Let me know which dairy product YOU would choose in the comments below, and whether or not my final choice is allowed. Many thanks to Daven for this fine topic suggestion - keep 'em coming, you crazy cats.

Zx


#20 - Swearing

February 6, 2016
00:0000:00


Huge apologies for Graham's uncharateristically foul language in this episode of The 3:16 as we discuss swearing. Is it a sign of a weaker mind, or is it empowering? Did Zeke just compare himself to the late, great George Carlin? Hit the mothertruckin' play button above to find out!


Give Jaymie Nunnery a big hand for today's risque topic. Jaymie is a lovely supporter of the show and first time topic suggestee, and I think we can all agree she came out of the gate swinging with this one. Got one of your own you want to see addressing on a future episode? Leave a comment below, or pitch it to me via Twitter!

Until next time,
Zeke x